Remembrance

I started to write about 9/11/2001 from my memories and my point of view, but then, I did something I have been avoiding doing for the last several weeks.   I read some of the articles and watched some of the news stories that have been coming out of the woodwork.

The stories of survivors and those who lost loved ones were powerful, but they weren't the ones that brought me to my knees.  It was the stories of the young adults who lost parents when they were so very young and it was the stories of the children too young to know the parents they lost.

Anything I have to say, quite frankly, is trite in comparison.

So I will simply say that I remember and I will carry the scar of that day on my heart forever.

Four

Four - it's a nice even number.  It's the number of sides on a square.  It's the number of doors on most cars.  It's the number of members of our family. 

It's the number of years I've had the honor of being your mother.  And I say honor, even with the screaming fits (like the one that got me plenty of looks in Schnucks on Friday) and the sleepless nights and the worry over when you would talk. You bring out the fierce Mother Protector in me.

You are my Sunshine, my Blondie Boy, my weird little guy.  Your sparkling eyes and mischievous smile melt my heart every time I look at you.  When you sit, cuddled in my lap, quietly watching the movie that is currently your favorite (as they switch almost daily sometimes), I am at peace with the world.   When I see you and your brother cuddled together asleep at night, I am prouder than any one else on the planet.  When I hear new words and sentences, I am amazed at your determination to make yourself heard. 

Banana Phone

Happy Birthday Finn - I love you more every day!

New Routine

My little monkey butt,

Tomorrow morning we will start a new routine.  Instead of heading to Ms. Nanie's with Finn, we will take you to the other side of town for your first day of school!

You are officially a kindergartner!

I can't believe how big you are and how fast the last six years have flown by!

I told Daddy last night that this feels like the first day I went back to work after you were born.  I still don't know how I made it thru that day.  I wanted to run home and hold you and never let you go. 

But you were in good hands.  I knew you were being spoiled by Grandma and Papaw (and I'm pretty sure Grammy spent most of the day there too!).  When I picked you up that first night, you were just a happy little chunk of love and I knew you would be okay.  So, I was okay. 

Daddy reminded me that you will be in good hands at school too.  I saw that at Open House.  Around every corner was someone who knew Daddy or taught Daddy or goes to church with us.  (It's one of the nice things about living in such a small town.)  Your excited little face let me know you were once again going to be okay.  So I guess, I will be too.

I love you so very, very much.  Don't let my tears fool you - I am excited to see the world open up for you as you learn.  Daddy and I will always be right here behind you - ready to take the lead if you need us.  But, I guess that right now, it's time to step back and let you explore.  

Love,
      Mommy

No Secret

Some things are meant to stay in the family.  Wedding dresses, china, photo albums and, in my family, some recipes.  These recipes can only be passed on to those with a genetic link (or a marriage license).

When I first posted that I was going to add recipes to my blog, I posted a picture of lasagna.  That particular recipe has been passed down through generations in my mother's family.  It is complicated, time consuming, expensive, delicious, and if I told you the recipe, I'd have to kill you or marry you.

But there is a lasagna recipe that is no secret.  Hence forth, it shall be known as Cara's "No Secret" Lasagna.   It is not as complicated, time consuming, or expensive, but still delicious.  And, I don't have to worry about blood stains or bigamy charges!

CARA'S "NO SECRET" LASAGNA

Basic Sauce

(This is the sauce I make about once a month and freeze for easy spaghetti nights.  This recipe will give you enough for the lasagna and one dinner's worth for your freezer.)

• 4 large cans crushed tomatoes 
• 2 cloves garlic (minced)
• 1 small yellow onion (finely chopped)
• 1/2 green pepper (finely chopped)
• 1/2 cup flat leaf Italian parsley (chopped)
• 4-5 fresh basil leaves (chopped)
• 1/2 tsp. dried oregano
• Salt and pepper (to taste)
• Olive oil

1. Coat the bottom of a sauce pan/pot with olive oil (about 2-3 tblspns depending on the size of the pot).
2. Heat pan on medium low.
3. Add onions, garlic, and pepper and saute until onion is translucent.
4. Add parsley, basil and oregano and saute for two minutes until fresh herbs turn dark green.
5. Pour in tomatoes, add salt and pepper and stir.
6. Bring sauce up to a bubble then turn it down to low.
7. Simmer on low for 2-3 hours (covered with the lid vented), stirring occasionally. 

"No Secret" Lasagna

• 1 batch Basic Sauce
• 2 boxes "No Boil" lasagna noodles
• 2 lbs Italian sausage (bulk)
• 1 lb part skim ricotta cheese
• 1 lb shredded mozzarella
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 c shredded Parmesan cheese

1. Brown sausage and drain on a paper towel.
2. Heat oven to 375.
3. Coat bottom of lasagna pan/roasting pan (9X13X3) with about 2 cups of sauce.
4. Place double layer of noodles on the bottom of the pan, overlapping.
5. Drizzle one beaten egg over noodles.
6. Spread half of sausage over noodles.
7. Drop (by teaspoonful) 1/2 of ricotta over sausage.
8. Sprinkle 1/3 of mozzarella over ricotta.
9. Cover with sauce (about another 2-3 cups)
10. Place a single layer of noodles over sauce.
11. Repeat steps 5 - 10 (in order).
12. Place sauce over final layer of noodles.
13. Sprinkle remaining mozzarella and Parmesan over top.
14. Cover with foil and bake for 50 minutes.
15. After 50 minutes, remove foil and broil for 10 minutes until cheese is bubbly.
16. Let sit for 15 minutes before cutting.  

This is not a light meal, but if you want to make a big family dinner on Sunday night, there is nothing like it!

Feelin' Hot! Hot! Hot!

It has been excruciatingly hot here for what seems like eons.  It's only been a few weeks, but even the heartiest of souls at this point are crying "Uncle!"

One of joys of summer are the fresh fruits and vegetables that seem to be everywhere.  One of my clients is an avid gardener and has shared his bounty with my office the last year or so.  Last year, every time we turned around, he was bringing in another bag of tomatoes.  I decided to oven dry many of those last year and freeze them.  While the results were delicious, it warmed the house in the evenings for about a week.

When he brought me more tomatoes yesterday, I considered doing the same.  However, when I got in the car today and noticed the temperature was 104 degrees, I thought that running the oven for a long period of time at a low heat probably wasn't the best idea.

So what else to do with fresh tomatoes?  Why salsa of course!   So I pulled out my salsa recipe and made up a batch.  Unfortunately, I didn't buy any chips, so we'll have to wait to enjoy it til tomorrow, but it certainly smelled good!

FRESH SALSA

6 peeled fresh tomatoes (quartered)
2-3 seeded and cored jalapenos
1/2 seeded and cored green pepper
1/2 medium red onion (quartered)
1/2 c. fresh cilantro leaves
1/2 tbsp salt
1/2 tbsp ground cumin
1 tsp black pepper
1/4 c. red wine vinegar
2 tbsp hot sauce

Place all ingredients into a food processor and blend until just smooth.  Makes about 3 1/2 cups.  (This can be frozen for up to 3 months.)

Food is Love

I love food.  Food is memory and comfort and surprise and invention and expression.  I find pleasure in the simplest of foods - like toast with real butter dipped in coffee milk with lots of sugar, just like my Grandma E-A would give us.  And I am amazed by intricate, complicated dishes, like those prepared on Iron Chef.

I have always enjoyed consuming food.  My parents learned when I was young that I would not be fooled by the "Oh, you wouldn't like this..."when it came to foods like lobster and shrimp that I could eat until they came out of my ears.  I always enjoyed the stuffed artichokes my Great Grandmother made - what kid likes artichokes?

But preparing the food - I left that to the grown ups.  I was a notoriously bad cook.  My brothers like to tease me about the ruined Hamburger Helper I made one night while babysitting them.  And my brother Dominic lovingly recalls my first attempt at icing.  I didn't realize that confectioners sugar was powdered sugar and made it with regular sugar.  While Dominic says that the sweet, soupy mess tasted delicious, it was still pretty embarrassing.

But in my 20s I began to develop some kitchen skills and began to really enjoy the art of preparing meals.  As my cooking got better, I came to enjoy deviating from the cookbooks and coming up with either my own takes on existing recipes or completely new recipes. 

Some recipes are sacred to me though.  My Great Grandmother's Lasagna, Big Sauce, and Meatball recipes are never to be fooled with.  I make chicken soup by the recipe my Mom gave me every time.  Eggnog desert can only be made one way and that's according to my Grandma Rita's recipe.

I love nothing more than to put a pot of my tomato sauce on the stove on a weekend and smell it cook through the afternoon.  And there is no smell better on a cold winter's day, than chicken broth simmering on the stove.  And there is such joy for me in presenting the homemade cakes from scratch at my kids birthday parties.

In every meal I cook, be it something as simple as pancakes on a Saturday morning or a pork roast with a bacon blanket for Sunday dinner, I put a part of my heart and soul into it.  I put my love into it.

With that love in mind, I'm going to start sharing my cooking more here in this blog.  It is part of the fabric of my family and by sharing it here, I'm sharing love.

Grandma's Lasagna

Ten

I don't know what  to say.  Being speechless (or wordless) is not something I suffer from frequently.  But today I am.

I thought about reminiscing about my wedding day.  I thought about talking about what it took to get to that moment where we said "I do".  I thought about trying to relive every moment of our truly kick ass reception.  But none of it felt right.

So, I think I'm going to keep this short and sweet.  Ten years ago Todd and I became a family.  And from that tiny family of two, we have grown to four with our beautiful, precocious boys - one who looks like him and one who looks like me. 

While nothing is easy and no one is perfect, I wouldn't trade the last 10 years for anything.

Happy Anniversary Todd - you are my love and life.