Log Jam on Doubt Toast

I have started 3 different posts since last week.  Three different posts that for three different reasons I abandoned midway through. 

Whether it was because I thought it sounded trite or whiny or just plain crazy, I decided against them. 

But they all were somehow related to the fact that in two and a half weeks, I will have a Kindergartner and a Second Grader.  And for a myriad of reasons, I am freaking out (quietly, most of the time, but occasionally, the crazy seeps out.)

One post was about not having dinner ready in a timely manner and how was that going to effect our new schedule once school starts that will include homework, bath time, story time, and a strict bed time, now times 2!

Another was about trying to give the boys a little freedom and let them roam a little farther away from us, while being completely terrified at that prospect.

And a third was about the fact that we haven't really censored music for the boys and that's going to come back and bite us in the ass in the near future I think.  Probably with Finn.  In Kindergarten.  Singing "Bottoms Up".  During snack time.

Truth is, I don't know what to think right now.  Elwood is growing up so fast - I can't keep up.  And Finn - who at this very moment is leaping from couch to couch like a spider monkey - is right there behind him.  They have their moments when they need us, but more and more things are things they can handle on their own.  But I can't handle them being independent - not yet at least. 

Curing the Crankies

I've been suffering from a serious case of the "crankies" the last few days.  I can't quite put my finger on what the cause is, but I've tried everything to cure it and so far, nothing has seemed to work. 

Chocolate - nope!
Shopping - nope!
Exercise - nope!
Eating junk food - nope!
Alcohol - nope!
Long hot shower - nope!
Good night's sleep - nope!  (Although, Elwood is going through a "Sleep is BAD!" phase, so this hasn't happened recently.)

All the usual cures have just not worked.  So, I thought I would try using my words.

Recently, I've had two people ask me about writing.  I put it aside for the last 18 months, but that doesn't mean I haven't thought "I really should blog about this" or that I've drafted ideas for a post.  But it just never came about.  Or, by the time I got to a computer, I'd completely forgotten what had inspired me earlier.

I blame Facebook for that.  Facebook doesn't require a draft (although I admit to occasionally editing my status updates).  Facebook doesn't require a theme.  Facebook doesn't require much thought, to be honest.  It pops into your head - you jot it down - hit send - it's out in the ether for eternity. 

But here, I have to think of how my words connect, one to the next, to give a cohesive story, argument or observation. 

So maybe, if I think about all the words and thoughts rumbling around this cranky head of mine and put them into some sort of order, maybe I can make sense of things and shake off these cranky pants!   Everyone feels better pants-less, right?